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Saturday, January 2, 2010

more donuts/drinks, but no kissing

(insert chicken noises)

Probably, with it being the Saturday after a holiday, there will be little blog traffic...at least that's what I'm counting on...(okay, pick the donut or drink of your choice and put it on my tab...wow...I am such a posting-my-WIP-weenie!)

This is again from my WIP , a YA wherein Wren, a girl who works as a serving wench at a Renaissance Faire falls in love with Will, a cursed boy from the 16th century. Working title Wren Faire.

(okay, so they have both kind of figured out the situation...and realized that they can't really be together...but they are teenagers in love, so.....)

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” he whispered. She could hear a tremble in his voice.

“What?” Although she had a pretty good idea what he was talking about, but he didn’t move his hand away.

“That.” he glanced down to where her finger left a burning trail on the back of his hand.

She didn’t stop. She could hear the rate of his breathing increase.

“The touching,” he whispered, still not moving his hand away. “I don’t know why your touch affects me so………so intensely…but it does.”

She didn’t want to admit it, but the tip of her finger felt like it was on fire. Yet she couldn’t stop touching him, tracing the little circles on the back of his hand, counting the little hairs. Thirty seven.

She couldn’t look up at his face. She was too afraid that he’d be looking at her like she was stupid or something. She was more afraid that he’d be looking at her in that way again. The way that made her stomach flutter and her cheeks feel too warm too fast. But he must like it, for his breathing got quicker and he didn’t pull away.

Softer than a cloud, so soft that she barely felt it, he reached out and touched her hair. So dark a red it was that he half expected it to feel hot. But it wasn’t. It was smooth, oh so smooth. His hand trailed down, across her cheek until it rested under her chin. She wasn’t looking at him. Good thing, too, he thought. For her eyes were too easy to read, and if there was, again, that invitation to touch her lips with his own…….

He felt her swallow and inhale. Her breathing was shallow, almost as if she was about to hyperventilate. At least he wasn’t the only one having a hard time with self control.



okay, so there it is...almost kissing, but not.

(I am nearing the end of this WIP, hopefully within the month. I had hoped to finish in November, but only managed to crank out about 17,000 words. I can't even estimate how long it will be, somewhere between 65,000 and 80,000. I wish I was faster, but...)

Thank you for reading.

hrh

25 comments:

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Sometimes the no kissing is so good. You got it right with the burning touch and drawing little circles on his skin. So intense and still innocent. Great job! I absolutely love this premise and title.

Ash. Elizabeth said...

what are you worried about?!? What you posted is great!

Catherine Denton said...

Such bridled affection. Fantastic!

Myrna Foster said...

Very nice. That piece will definitely keep people reading to see what happens.

Corey Schwartz said...

Oh, love it! Any candles burning nearby? :)

I am a huge fan of Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth and this reminds me of it a bit.

Shannon Messenger said...

That was excellent. Really. I'm so glad you shared. loved the spinning touch. I REALLY hope this gets published--and soon--so I can read the rest. Love the concept!

V. S said...

This post was awesome! Your scene had so much tension it hurt not to read :)

Joshua McCune said...

Nicely done.

storyqueen said...

Tricia-Thank you! I love that bit as well. I wrote this scene very early (at the beginning of the writing, when I would just create scenes between Wren and Will to see what they would do...and to get to know them better myself.)

Ash-Thank you. Truly, I was nervous.

Catherine-You are very sweet.

Myrna-thanks...if only I could finish...

Corey-Hahaha! although there is a scene with candles...but only slapstick romance (but not as good as your true life tale!)
And thanks for the huge Follet compliment!

Shannon-thank you. I'd love for it to get published, too.

V-Thank you. Tension. Good.

Bane-Welcome back! Hope your new year is starting well.

Casey Something said...

Oh, I love it Shelley! I don't know why you get so nervous sharing (though, I do too - do you ever see me sharing? Ha!). It was fabulous! I love all these almost kiss scenes!

Amalia Dillin said...

I like the last line about self control. This scene brings me back to teenager-ville myself! Thanks for sharing!

storyqueen said...

Casey-It's just that I am a card carrying member of the wuss club. However, it is a good idea to get brave enough to post snippets. And I need to be braver this year.

Amalia-Thank you! I seem only to be able to write about love in teenage terms....go figure....

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

I loved this one, that was sooo good and I LOVE Ren Faires, the title is totally for the win!!:-) Thank you, thank you for participating in the No Kiss Fest and making it such a success!!! :-)

Donna Gambale said...

Lovely job! And I'm a huge fan of the concept of the whole novel. Hopefully we'll get to read more soon!

Yvonne Osborne said...

I liked this, outside my normal realm (no pun intended) but love the time period and the working title is a keeper. And hair so red it was hot. Yowsers!

Nice!

kah said...

I always study hands. So I loved this scene. Felt very believable to me.
And I LOVE your blog photo at the top of your page. What a cute pic :)
My blog

MG Higgins said...

This is terrific, Shelley! Nice, steamy buildup of tension. Good luck with finishing your ms up so you can get it out there and published.

lisa and laura said...

I love the concept for this book. And love the excerpt. Can't wait to read more!!!

Hayley Lovell said...

Loved this! No kissing is so amazing sometimes and you did such a good job! I wish I could read more, it's so great!

storyqueen said...

Frankie-Thanks...the title totally cracks me up, but maybe it's cheesy... oh well. Thanks for hosting the no kiss festival. What a blast!

Donna-Thank you! A HUGE fan? Now that makes me happy!

Yvonne-I liked the bit about the hair, too...it is definitely part of Wren's personality.

Karen-The pic is from a booksigning...kind of hilarious actually, but thanks for liking it. All of the photos from that signing look like I'm a witch casting some kind of a spell.

MG-Thanks, but who knows...I hope that a publisher likes it...if I am ever really brave enough to submit it!

L and L-About the only way I'll post anything else is if there's some other "festival" kind of day...otherwise I am too chicken.

Hayley-Thank you! I liked the scene a lot, but you never know what others might think. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Clementine said...

Great tension! It reads so real. I can totally picture these two. I look forward to reading more.

Jessie Oliveros said...

That's funny because my MC falls in love with a 16th century boy herself. Only, she is in his time, not her own time. I love the concept, and it is oh so steamy...well, I guess I should say almost steamy, because they never did kiss. This was good. Remember my trouble with the kissing scene. I still have to rewrite it, but I think you definitely had it with the almost kiss. I wanted to tell you that you kept coming to mind this month when I realized I was writing a lot of ... EYEBROWS. Those darn eyebrows.

Kim said...

whooo...hose me down! That was steamy even without a kiss. I really need to know how they avoid it. You left me hanging. Tease!

Wendy Sparrow said...

Loved it! That was an awesome excerpt and I love the title too. We have a Ren Faire here, and it's so much fun.

These excerpts are nice teasers. I'm hooked.

Stephanie Perkins said...

I am so late with my comment buuuut...

OMGSHELLEYTHISISSOOOOOOOGOOD!!!

I *love* it. You HAVE to finish this book, or I'll be heartbroken forever & ever & ever!