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Saturday, December 3, 2011

Those That are Now Lost to Us

We lost someone this week.

And it's not like we didn't see this coming.  My friend had fought her illness bravely for six years.  And yet....the shock is still immense and my heart is hurting.

The hardest part when we lose someone are those moments when all of a sudden, in the middle of the drive to soccer practice or a math lesson, it hits you all over again, as if you are realizing for the first time that your friend is truly gone.

Life, however, goes on. But Death--Death stops us and wakes us up and says, "Hey!  Something happened here!  Slow down and pay attention.  And Remember."


I remember her quick smile and her grace and her passion for teaching little ones.  I remember how much she cared and how much she believed.

And I find myself rushing, rushing, rushing (even more so than usual) to get all of the THINGS done that must be done so I don't fall BEHIND because this is the life that I lead.  The life where there is always more to do than there is time for and the life that if I sit for one minute quietly, I agonize over the THINGS I am not getting done in that moment.

Yet this particular passing, this Death, brings me to a screeching halt.  It makes me understand that it is impossible to get behind in Life.  Life just goes on.  It.just.does.  And it's okay to stop and remember. Not only is it okay.  It is necessary.

They say that those who pass live on in our hearts and our minds.  And I think that might be true.  But I also think that it is hard to plant a seed and nourish a young seedling of memory if the ground is unstable and ever moving.

A seed needs quiet and calm.

For those of use who have suffered the loss of a dear one, I am wishing us moments of comfort, calm, and peace this December.



Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Beautiful, bittersweet words and wishes, Shelley. I am so sorry that you lost a dear one.
I suffered losses this year, too, and you are right that it is necessary to pause and remember those who've meant something in our lives.
Two things help me keep perspective, and that is our mortality and how small we are in the totality of the universe. Life is a gift, and that fact sometimes gets forgotten in the day-to-day grind.
Take care and give yourself time.

Michelle McLean said...

I am so sorry for your loss Shelley. I've found myself wanting to step back from a few things lately...I don't know if the time of year or the remembrances of my own losses or just getting older, but I find I want to focus my free time more on what's really important to me, less on what the world and my chosen career say are important :) You are right, it's important to take time. Take Care.

Kelly Polark said...

Hugs to you, Shelley.
Loss is hard. There are moments that you will think of that person and smile, and other times that you will think of your friend and cry. So sorry for your loss.

Lindsay N. Currie said...

Oh goodness, how sad. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and I second your hope that December brings you peace.

Susan R. Mills said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful post, though.

Corey Schwartz said...

I'm so sorry, Shelley! Beautiful post. Sending hugs to you!

Christina Lee said...

You're right, a seed needs quiet and calm! This beautiful post just made me stop and gasp and consider my life and everything around me. And I thank you for that. *squeezing you hard*

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss shelly! im just way sorry your friend is gone. for sure thats real hard.i like how you could talk about it. people could keep living in our hearts. for me i like when something is a reminder and gets me stopped all of a sudden and gives me a smile like when i smell flowers i stop and think about my mom.
...hugs from lenny

Natalie Lloyd said...

These are such true and lovely words. Holidays are so bittersweet this way, bright but cold too. I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute to your friend (and a reminder to do what needs to be done).