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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Imaginary Writing Retreat

Back before I even had my own blog, I scoured the internet searching for author blogs.  I wanted to know what other authors thought and if I thought the same kinds of things  from time to time. I remember reading a blog (I think it was Maureen Johnson's but I am not sure.  Let's just say that it was.)  Anyway, she was going on a writing retreat with other authors to a CASTLE in IRELAND.  Seriously.  Could there be anything cooler?

I think not.

Sometimes, when the writing gets hard, I dream of this legendary Irish Castle Writing Retreat.  In my mind, it has morphed into paradise.

Large and  imposing, with a great cloud cover and awesome castle grounds to walk at dusk for inspiration.
This is what happens in my imaginary retreat:
  • I am awakened by a small pot of steaming hot tea placed by my bedside table every morning.
  • Hours and hours and hours to write.  And when I am not writing, I am talking with witty, fab, amazing people about writing.  Or I am traipsing about the Irish countryside, thinking about what I shall write next.
  • There is not any awkwardness between me and imaginary new author friends, even though we all just probably met.
  • The castle is neither too warm nor too cold.
  • Delicious food prepared by a cook that we all lovingly refer to as "Cook."
  • All unfinished stuff gets finished.
This is probably what would happen at a real writing retreat.  To me, anyway.
  • Rodents, vermin, bedbugs.
  • Freezing cold or stifling hot.
  • Lost luggage.
  • Hideous food. (And the snacks I brought all get eaten by said vermin.)
  • Author conversations:  Awkward, awkward, awkward.
Notice the complete lack of lasting structure.  Sneeze too hard, and the whole thing is gonna crumble.  See that big fat window on the right that looks like a monster took a bite out of it?  That's my room.

Yeah, I think I'll opt for an imaginary writing retreat.


PS. Where is your dream writing getaway?


Susan R. Mills said...

Imaginary sounds better to me too!

Catherine Denton said...

Hahaha, oh man, this made me laugh so hard, Shelley.

LOVE your imaginary writing retreat. Can I join you? I'll add some down comforters and silk sheets. There would have to be steaming coffee by my bed and the comfiest clothes imaginable.
Catherine Denton

Anonymous said...

Your imaginary writing retreat sounds lovely.

Hardygirl said...

I think I'll stick to my comfy chair that is now the exact same shape as my botto. Not attractive. At all. But totally functional.

I would love to have "Cook" in my life, though.


Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Ha! Yeah, an Irish castle is gonna be COLD, especially the ones without a roof. :)
I, too, have that dream of tramping the Irish countryside and going back to write by the hearth. I once had the wonder of staying in a friend's manor house near Sligo. We did much tramping.

Stephanie Thornton said...

Ummm... can I borrow your writing retreat?

If not, I'm going for a beach in Greece. One with very blue water, some gelato (yeah, I'm stealing from Italy, but they really are neighbors), and some wine. I might not get much writing down, but whatever. :)

Corey Schwartz said...

I once heard about a writing cruise! That sounded very appealing to me!

Jessie Oliveros said...

I want to come, too. In fact, I think that's what I'll try to dream about tonight. I remember reading about the same writers retreat, and I know two of the authors were Carrie Ryan and Ally Carter.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

You are so funny! I think maybe you should take a real writing retreat. My Grandparents have been on holidays at a castle somewhere in England several times. It was the good kind of castle. (wink)

Thanks for the smiles tonight.

Laura Pauling said...

The castle retreat sounds good but it totally depends on if they've put isolation in! I picture cold drafts and rodents!

Julie Hedlund said...

Shelley, you crack me up!

If you ever do make it to that imaginary retreat, will you take me along? ;-)

Jackee said...

I could do the imaginary thing better than the real too! (I hate leaving my kiddos.) But I think I would go for the place in Bali in Eat, Pray, Love. That place asks to be a writer's inspirational paradise.

Julie Dao said...

Oh please take me on your imaginary writing retreat - it sounds HEAVENLY. You don't need a real one when you can imagine one where the castle's the perfect temperature. I'd like to add "fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies" next to the pot of tea that appears by my bed every morning.