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Saturday, December 29, 2012

25 Years

This week my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.
Bought these silver snowflakes to commemorate the 25 years.  Aren't they pretty?

That's a long time, folks.

And not that I am some kind of a marriage expert, but I have been in the trenches long enough to give two simple pieces of advice:

1. Make sure your significant other loves you just the way you are.  As a writer, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the fact that my husband lets me be me.  He's a bit of an extrovert and is super active, and I need time inside of my head.  If he didn't understand that I need alone time to write, our relationship would be much more difficult.  There is the added bonus that he really believes in me.

2. Remember, it's not all about you. If you want to be accepted for who you are (writerly warts and all) then you have to remember to afford your significant other the same courtesy.  You have to love and appreciate them the way you want to be loved and appreciated.  Your dream may be to write a book or two.  Your significant other's dream might be, um, I dunno....maybe they have dreamed all of their life of having a sauna in the living room for after surfing or something like that.  And maybe you'll come home from the grocery store sometime and find that they have made their dream a reality and that there is a cedar sauna in the middle of your living room! That might happen to you sometime*.  It might look like this:
And it might be sitting right there in your living room!!!
And you'll need to remember that it's not all about you and that everyone has a dream.  And then you'll need to relax, grab a towel, and have a sauna.

Looking forward to what the next 25 will hold!


*by "sometime", I mean last Monday.  And by "you", I mean me.  Yes, it really did happen.  And yes, it is still there.....*sigh*


Faith E. Hough said...

Congratulations on 25 years! And your advice is great. My husband and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary this spring--but I feel as if we were married about six months ago. Does time continue to fly by like that??
And I hope you begin to enjoy the cedar sauna. :) Right now it's snowy and cold here, and a sauna sounds pretty good!

Catherine Denton said...

I bet he wanted to give you lots of time to write in solitude, so he got a sauna to keep him busy. Just think of all the cool living-room-sauna-book-launch parties you can throw!! :D

Today is our 22nd anniversary. It does go fast and your advice is SPOT ON.
Catherine Denton

Catherine Denton said...

P.S. I forgot to say Congratulations!! That's an awesome accomplishment!

erica and christy said...

OH MY, that's too fun! My husband always says he's dropping a hot tub into our living room floor, but we had our 15th this past summer and so far it hasn't happened! Congratulations to both of you!

Jess said...

That sauna is classic. My hubby's dream involves being able to play golf every day and being able to keep up in golfing style with his unattached/un-children-blessed friends...a dream that's slightly hindered by older kids about to enter college (and the lovely start of 25-year loans) and younger kids about to enter activityland USA (who knew ballet/soccer classes for 4-year-olds were so expensive???). I'm only 5 years into my marriage, but the two things you listed hit home in a big way. Thank you for the reminders, and congratulations on hitting the big 2-5!

Anonymous said...

I've always wanted to try out a sauna. Don't have enough room in our living room to have one, so I guess I have no worries there.

CONGRATS on 25 years!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

:D:D:D I can't stop grinning. That is the best story I've heard all week. What surfer wouldn't want their own sauna? But the living room would never have crossed my mind.
It's a true gift that you both respect and love each other so much. Congratulations and best wishes for the new year, my friend.