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Monday, February 16, 2009

Quandry

On the first page of my writing book is an idea page. Every time I get a new book to fill, the first thing I do is to rewrite the idea page, carrying over the great ideas from one book to the next. That way, when I truly don't know what I feel like writing about, I can look at my idea page and give myself a direction (if I feel like writing with direction, of course).

The thing is, there are ideas on this list that I have been carrying around with me for 10 years. That's right, 10. I faithfully transpose them from book to book, because they are really great ideas. I think. However, I seem unable to sit down and write some of them as books. Why?

1. Maybe they aren't really that good......maybe I should just let them go........but for some reason I can't. (I have let other ideas off into the wind, ideas which upon revisiting seemed lame, but not these....not the vanguard of the idea page.)

2. Maybe I just feel unworthy to write them. Maybe I fear that if I tackle one of the really good ones, I'll fail and....well.....I guess it just won't feel very good.

So, what to do?

Of course, maybe there's a third possibility......

Maybe they just aren't ready for me to play with yet, or more likely, I am not ready to do them justice. Not unworthy, just unready. (There is a distinct, if small, difference).

I read an interview with Neil Gaiman (The Graveyard Book) and he said he got the idea for his novel twenty years before he wrote it. 20! That's twice as long as the ones I can't seem to let go of. So maybe there's hope for me, yet.

Until then, I'll carry them around faithfully, from writing book to writing book, like Dumbo with his feather,(for they are far less intimidating than a blank page!) and hope that their time will come.....and that even if I lost them, I'd still feel like a writer.


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