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Monday, December 21, 2009

In Which I Owe You a Donut....Or a Drink.....Oh yeah, and Kissing

See, what happened was that school is finally over and for the first time in, I dunno, a hundred years, I can read blogs leisurely instead of whizzing through at lightspeed. Yea and hurray!

But I got a little cocky, with my new found time. And when I saw that there was a Kissing Day today where people could post parts of their WIP's that involves kissing, well, in a moment of utter stupidity, I signed up.


So, now we get to the part about the donut (or the drink). Back when I had my first writing group in New Mexico (love you Holly, Karen and June!) and it came time for me to read my stuff, I'd hem and haw around, saying things like, "I know it's really rough..." or "Don't comment, just listen, because I know it's not very good." Blah. Blah. Blah.

Well, the group got tired of hearing this tripe, and I got tired of saying it, so I challenged myself to buy a drink (or a donut) for anyone who had to hear me hem and haw around before reading my stuff.

Consider the Hemming and Hawing part done. (Maybe a virtual donut....?)

Soooooo, on to kissing.....(This is where round 2 of H and H begins in usual glad you are not here in person. I am stepping away from the computer...back again...okay.)

Okay, here we go. From WIP titled Wren Faire, wherein a teenage girl who works as a serving wench at a renaissance faire in the summers falls in love with a cursed boy from the 16th century.

Here we go...(Stop stalling!! Just Do it!)

He pulled on her hands, causing her to lean in towards him.

Wren resisted a teeny, weeny bit. She didn't want to just fall into the arms of the first boy that opened them to her. But then again, here she was, under the moonlit sky, stars sparkling, with a beautiful boy who appeared to be funny, charming and mysterious. And he was wearing a kilt, for heaven's sake! A kilt!

As Wren looked at his face, she felt her breathing increase. Great. Now it matched her heart rate, which was going completely insane.

Close eyes? Leave eyes open? Close eyes? Leave eyes open?

But Will just smiled at her as he moved closer. Softly, more gentle than the hint of a breeze, Will touched Wren's lips with his own.

So, so, soooo much better than when she had tried kissing Jamie back when they were both thriteen, giving Wren the shocking realization that it's not how you kiss, it's who you kiss.

Happy Mistletoe Day!



Natalie said...

I loved it! My favorite part was the close eyes/open eyes dilemma. The voice was fantastic.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Oh, Shelley, I love the premise of this story and this scene. He wears a kilt and kisses gently. Ah. And the last line about being who you kiss is perfection. Thanks for sharing.

L. T. Host said...

Great excerpt. You shouldn't be nervous about sharing it :)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Love it! My favorite is the "it's not HOW you kiss, it's WHO you kiss" part. ;)

Kim said...

I can write kissing scenes in my picture books?!? This is getting better and better. You say it's ok to have kissing in PB's and LiLa says it's ok to have swearing. I think I may be able to pull this off after all.

Seriously, though...I loved it! I loved that first line where he pulls her in, and the last where it's at about who you kiss. Would I be a total ignoramus if I made a teeny, weeny suggestion?

storyqueen said...

Natalie-That part is from past experience....

Tricia-Thank you! Your opinion means so much to me.

LT-I am the biggest WUSS about sharing stuff. So doing this kind of thing is good for me.

Shannon-Thank you! That part is true, huh?

Kim-actually, one of my picture books centers on a Good Knight Kiss (haha) so you can have kissing in picturebooks...but this is an excerpt from a YA...and feel free to suggest away! (Big or teeny weeny.)

Wendy Sparrow said...

Awww. That was wonderful. The last line was perfect. I love her name too. Wren is an awesome choice. It was fantastic all around.

Jeannie Campbell, LMFT said...

the inner conflict about whether to close her eyes or not just made me smile. i remember that exact debate years ago for my first kiss. :) thanks for the fun memory.

Where Romance Meets Therapy

Tamika: said...

I think this exactly how nervious I felt when I first kissed a boy. Great job! You captured a beautiful moment.

Renee Collins said...

Cute! I love Will's smile as he pulls her in. Dreamy. :)

Also, I love the name Wren!

V. S said...

I loved the fact that he was wearing a kilt! I also enjoyed herbeing uncertain, it makes it feel so real!

Casey McCormick said...


I loved this Shelley! What a beautiful moment, and I love the last line!

Karen Denise said...

So's not how you kiss but who. Loved that! Great job!

Stephanie Faris said...

Great scene!!! I need to work some kissing into my middle grade series. There's romance but not a single kiss, and I'm on the third book in the series. Of course, they're 12, and I didn't do too much kissing at 12!

Sara ♥ said...

I love the close the eyes/open the eyes back and forth!! It's such an accurate description of the types of thoughts that happen with first time kisses!

Amalia T. said...

I LOVED the close eyes/leave eyes open internal debate! Fabulously done! I'm so glad you shared!!

Lisa and Laura said...

I love the it's not how you kiss, it's who you kiss realization. Thanks for sharing this Shelley. Can't wait to read more!

sherrinda said...

Ooooo, this was so good! My favorite line was the's all about who you kiss! Thanks so much for joining in the fun today and making it so much fun!

storyqueen said...

Wendy-thanks...the name is kind of a cheesey play on words, but I grew to love her name as I wrote more and learned more about her.

Jeannie-thank you..guess I'm not the only one with that memory!

Tamika-Thanks..the to close or not to close debate seems rather universal.


V.S-I mean...seriously...he was in a KILT! Can you believe she hesitated even for a second???

Casey-thanks. I'll take all the applause I can get!

Karen-Thank you (It makes me glad I chose to end the excerpt there...lots of comments on that last line. If I'd included a little more...maybe not so much.)

Stephanie-I didn't do much kissing at 12 either!! (Or thirteen, or even fourteen...)

Sara-thank you. I'm just glad it made sense!

Amalia-Thank you! And thank you for coming by. (Although I can't promise kissing every day!)

L and L- It might be a while before I post more of just won't consent to let me finish it.

Sherrinda-Thank you for hosting the big kiss fest! What fun!

giddymomof6 said...

Eeeh! This is so adorable! I LOVED It! So cute. Her indecision is perfect too!


Sarah said...

"Close eyes? Leave eyes open? Close eyes? Leave eyes open?"

Great excerpt, especially the eye quandary and the final line. Thanks for sharing!

Kelly H-Y said...

Love it ... especially the 'what to do with the eyes' part! :-)

Stephanie Perkins said...

In Which I Delve Deeper Into My Google Reader And Find These AMAZING Excerpts...



I love this so. much. Seriously. I am short on cleverness and words and such, because I'm swooning. Please, please, PLEASE finish this! I need to read it. Not "want." NEED. And, for the record, I don't think I've ever said that about someone's excerpts online before. But your concept is so wonderful, so right up my alley, and your writing is beautiful.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease finish this.

Beg beg beg.


— Steph

P.S. I wish I had thought of this idea. You rule.