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Monday, March 22, 2010

When your inner editor is Harrison Ford

Okay, really, it could be worse, right?

I mean, I always thought my inner editor was a very proper lady with a tight bun or a crotchety old man that looks like Professor Plum from Clue.  I should know my inner editor.  He/she should show up from time to time.

Turns out, mine rarely shows up during the first draft.  I think that's because I have to write in small spurts and, really, its just not worth an inner editor's time to show up if you have to stop writing in ten minutes anyway.  What's the fun in convincing you something is cruddy if there's no time in which to do it?

That's why mine shows up during revision.  I can't revise in bits and pieces.  I have to dive in and stay there, holding my breath in the deep, for as long as it takes.  It's dangerous, I tell you.

That's why my inner editor is Harrison Ford.

Sometimes he looks like this:

Just get your butt in there and do it.  

Sometimes he looks like this:

You're getting cocky now...knock it off.

But either way, revising isn't so bad with Indiana Jones/Han Solo.
 So, who's your inner editor?


edited to include that sometimes he looks like this:

At which point he can get rather cranky and fussy.

I mean, he's an inner editor, after all.  Of course he gets cranky.  Especially when I waste time looking for persnickety pictures of him instead of Doing.The.Work.
Okay, okay already.  I hear you, Harrison.  



Solvang Sherrie said...

I wish my inner editor was that hot! Mine's just an annoying nag in granny glasses pointing out every flaw. She's such a bi*@^!

Catherine Denton said...

You lucky girl! Naming the inner editor? I like that. I'll have to get back with you on mine though; because now I MUST have someone really cool. Perhaps...Matt Damon?
Winged Writer

Yat-Yee said...

Mine is a disembodied monotone voice that doesn't mince words. Female. Never loses an argument, doesn't even get flustered, just hangs there and act all know-better-than-thou.

Wouldn't mind exchanging it for a nurturing soul, who speaks with a warm voice that is nothing but encouraging, and at another, can pull arrows from his lance and shoots at every plot hole as stylishly as either Orlando Bloom in LOTR or Takeshi whatshisname from House Of The Flying Daggers.

Mmmmmm....uh, what? writing? Oh yest, back to that.

Julie Dao said...

Lucky. I wish Harrison were my inner editor! Mine looks sorta like my mom. And sounds like her. *nagging voice* *hands on hips* "Julie, do you REALLY need that extra punctuation mark?"

L. T. Host said...

My inner editor is me with glasses on and a really sharp stick in one hand. Sigh. Wish I was cool enough to have Harrison...

Hardygirl said...

I am now inspired to channel a kick-ass editor. Hmmm. Who should it be?? I can't have a hottie because I'll just stare at him all day.

What about Jack Nicholson? Or is that way too creepy?


Susan R. Mills said...

My inner editor is a pre-menstral teenage girl. She drives me nuts. I think I'll try and replace her with a hunky guy. I don't know, maybe Johnny Depp.

Yat-Yee said...

Upon re-reading my earlier comment, I realize I sound incoherent. That's to be expected, I suppose, given what I was writing...

Shannon Whitney Messenger said...

LOL. I've never pictured my inner editor before. But since my biggest crime is overwriting and word count abuse, I guess it would be Edward Scissorhands. :)

Tina Laurel Lee said...

My editor is a mousy little indecisive girl, but like Hardygirl I think you inspired me to channel somebody else.

Joanna said...

Wow. I didn't realized that I was getting to work with Harrison Ford, too!!

I am one lucky gal. :)

When I was writing, way back when, my inner-editor was Bobcat Goldthwait. I think that's why I make a better outter-editor than a writer. :-\

Renee Collins said...

lol, awesome. Must be nice to have him around.

My inner editor is myself. A sharp, though not necessarily mean me. Sitting by my on the couch. NEVER leaving me alone.

Hayley said...

I have no idea if my inner editor is that hot or not, or who my inner editor is. At this moment we aren't really talking right now. He and I (I do know it is a he) are at each others throats at the moment. It may be awhile before we're talking again. For all I know he could go from being a fuzzy bunny to the Joker. But I wish Harrison Ford was my inner editor.

storyqueen said...

Sherrie-Poor you! I thought I had the granny-hag, too. Maybe the basket of luck will bring you a hotter inner editor....

Catherine- You can have Matt. I don't think he's been claimed yet.

Yat-Yee-Orlando...yesssss! He would be awesome (but don't tell Harrison I said so.)

Julie-Well, at least your mom/editor keeps you out of trouble. Unless, of course, you need a little trouble. (Knock it off, Harrison!)

LT-Yikes! Is it sharp like a sword...or pointy like a lance? Either way, be careful around...yourself...

SF-Um....Creepy! Ernest Borgnine maybe?

Susan-I would not want to trade places with you. Tell her to get a job and earn her keep or that you'll cut off her allowance. (Need to keep her out of your hair so you can work!)

Yat-Yee-What does that say about me that it made perfect sense to me?

Shannon-Edward Scissorhands is a good choice. Kind of broody, which would be a good thing, I think.

Tina L L-Just don't come around trying to steal Harrison! He's mine, I tell you!

Jo-There's probably all kinds of weird things about me that you'll find out...(unfortunately, weird doesn't always equal cool...)

Bobcat Goldthwait rocks! (But maybe not so much as an inner editor.)

And you are a fantastic outer/editor!

Renee-Can you fake yourself out sometimes...? I do. I get cruddy pencils that real authors would never use and wrinkly paper...write in short bursts. The old inner editor doesn't know what to think.

Hayley-Don't even speak to the lame-o. Just keep writing!! Don't let him get you down.

Jessie Oliveros said...

We're big Harrison Ford fans around here. Maybe I should ask him to come over and help me edit, too. Why do you get dibs on him anyway?

Molly Hall said...

Ooh. I never gave my inner editor an identity before. But now I am picturing Sydney Bristow (from "Alias"). An ass-kicking, name-taking, totally empowered super-spy. She always had the x-ray glasses, the combat skills, and the guts to get any job done. I need her! What a fun idea! Thanks. : )

Myrna Foster said...

Wow! Yours is the best, and you already know his weakness. If he's ever too hard on you, you can threaten him with snakes.

Kelly said...

Can I borrow Harrison as my inner editor? Though I think I picture mine as me in teacher mode. And I need to be harder on myself!
When I was in fifth grade I wrote him a fan letter and received back a picture with his stamped signature. I was in love with Han Solo/Indiana! My biggest dilemma was which movie was my favorite: Empire Strikes Back or Raiders of the Lost Ark! Ahhh,such simple times...

Shannon O'Donnell said...

I'm with Sherrie - I wish my inner editor looked like that. Sometimes I think my inner editor looks more like a tree sloth. :-)

Elana Johnson said...

Yes! What a great post! Unfortunately, my inner editor is around all the time. Just this morning, I realized that only 30 pages in, I already had an inconsistency in my WiP. Easily fixed, but still.

I need a Harrison, I think.

Heather Kelly said...

I had no idea that an inner editor could be so dashing. It makes me almost want to revise!

Myrna Foster said...

I gave you an award, if you want it.

Kelly H-Y said...

I love this! Haven't thought of it that way before ... I like that yours is Harrison Ford ... he would be a good one to have! :-)

Jonathon Arntson said...

Brilliant post! Your WORDS re: your inner editor = me rofl. So, I believe my inner editor is not as cool as yours, but somewhat of a protege of yours: Shia LaBeouf. I'm not sure what this means for my future, but as I'm dillydallying with my first draft he's off fighting robots or something, so you're totally right: first drafts are a waste of their time.

Dena Daw said...

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD this post cracked me up!!!

I especially love the first pic of Harrison Ford. Mine's not that badass. I think my inner editor is more like the Numa Numa kid on youtube. He just keeps going until you're like...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST STOP! But yet you can't...stop...watching.

Kris said...

Cool post Storyqueen! I love the idea of the inner editor.
I really want mine to look like Patrick Dempsey. But, no, that might distract me too much. I'm actually
not sure -- I just started maybe someone cool will show up!
I'm afraid mine might look more like Professor McGonagall - but instead of turning into a cat, she turns into leopard and shreds my WIP to pieces.

Laura Pauling said...

Right now, I claim Leo as my inner editor. Now I just need to convince him to show up.

Stephanie Faris said...

I'm not sure who my inner editor is...she's definitely bitter and mean!

Kelly said...

If Jon takes Shia Lebeouf, I'll take Indy's dad Sean Connery as my inner editor. Because he would sound cool editing with that accent!

MG Higgins said...

I think my inner editor is my mother. I need to change that, immediately. Oooh ... James Earl Jones. I'd love hearing his voice in my head.

Lisa and Laura said...

Haha. I think mine would be Liam Neeson in Taken. I like to imagine someone kung fu kicking our manuscript into shape.

storyqueen said...

Jessie-Come on...first come first serve! Harrison already has a job being my inner editor...and he is also busy finding important know...for museums and stuff.

Molly-Welcome to the storycastle! And a name-takin' super spy would be a pretty good inner editor, I think.

Myrna-Yes, of course, the snakes! Next time he acts up, he's getting snakes!

Kelly-Sorry, I'm not sharing. (And Raiders is better than Empire...just sayin')

Shannon-hahaha! You could get a lot of stuff past a tree sloth editor!

Elana-I probably should wish mine was around more often, but he's got lots of treasure to find and imperial stormtroopers to fend off, so I have to take what I can get.

Heather-Well, I have to be honest, it does make it a little more fun.

Myrna-Thank you!!

Kelly-I guess I'll keep him!

Jonathon-Hahahaha! Go Shia!! He could do a good job probably...when he finishes 8th grade!

Dena-The Numa Numa kid! I love that kid. He could be my muse, maybe....

Kris-Ah yes, Mcgonigal! She would be a good one.

Laura-Okay, I'll mark it on the list!

Stephanie-Now Steph, I'm sure you could sweet talk your inner editor!

Kelly-Nope, sorry, you can't have Sean Connery. I might need him as back-up...he is James Bond, after all.

MG-James Earl Jones/Darth Vader would scare the crud out of me!!

L and L-Liam Neeson...*sigh*

Yat-Yee said...

Shelley: look what you made me do. Check out my dreamy guys, I mean inner editors over at my place.

Amy Tate said...

Lol! I've always pictured mine more like the blob that settles over the museum in Ghostbusters. If it had a face like Mr. Ford's maybe I'd get more accomplished.